Bruno Vincent - Five Get Gran Online - Quercus

Time remaining

  • -- days
  • -- hours
  • -- minutes
  • -- seconds
Other Formats
  • Hardback £7.99
    More information
    • ISBN:9781786483867
    • Publication date:05 Oct 2017

Five Get Gran Online

By Bruno Vincent

  • E-Book
  • £P.O.R.

Next in the Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups series

The Five go north to see their grandmother - Granny Barnard - who they haven't caught up with for many years, since she remarried. She is alone over the Easter weekend and so the Five decide to look after and reconnect. They're shocked to find it's been so long that they don't recognise her at all. While they're there, they try to help her with her computer. They try first to fix her iTunes account, and then her internet banking - after all it's the least they can do! However everything they touch turns to dust. They end up getting her cut off from the internet, the gas and the electricity, and reduced to a World War II-style privations - that is until the toddler from next door comes in and fixes everything. They return home somewhat with their tails between their legs, only to discover that with their help Gran has learned to make videos, and has become an internet sensation.

Biographical Notes

Bruno Vincent is the author of several humour titles including (with Jon Butler) the bestselling Do Ants Have Arseholes?, a Christmas No.1 back in the more innocent days of Myspace and News of the World. He has also written two volumes of gothic horror stories for children which were adapted for the stage.

  • Other details

  • ISBN: 9781786484727
  • Publication date: 05 Oct 2017
  • Page count:
  • Imprint: Quercus
Jo Fletcher Books

Blood Cruise

Mats Strandberg
Authors:
Mats Strandberg

On the Baltic Sea, no one can hear you scream. A summer thriller, perfect for fans of Stephen King and John Ajvide Linqvist.Tonight, twelve hundred expectant passengers have joined the booze-cruise between Sweden and Finland. The creaking old ship travels this same route, back and forth, every day of the year.The passengers include a lonely old woman seeking adventure, a washed-up pop star reduced to running karaoke evenings, the twelve-year-old cousins who were best friends before a family secret came between them and the security guards who are trying to control the daily chaos on board.But this trip is going to be different.In the middle of the night the ferry is suddenly cut off from the outside world. There is nowhere to escape. There is no way to contact the mainland. And no one knows who they can trust.Relationships are about to be tested. Ordinary people are forced to become heroes. But what happens this night can also bring out the worst in people . . .Welcome aboard the Baltic Charisma.

Quercus

A Taste for Vengeance

Martin Walker
Authors:
Martin Walker

'THE MAIGRET OF THE DORDOGNE' ANTONY BEEVORBruno has been promoted, but his new responsibilities aren't what's making him nervous. That would be the promise he made to his friend Pamela to teach some classes at her new cookery school. Cooking the delicious traditional Perigord dishes he loves is one thing, but presenting to a class of people at the same time? In English? Even brave Bruno is quaking in his boots.The disappearance of one of the cookery school clients almost comes as a welcome relief. At first Bruno is unconcerned, but the discovery of the woman's body in one half of a double homicide soon proves how wrong this feeling was. The other murder victim is more mysterious - a man, covered in combat scars and with a false passport. Investigations reveal him to be an ex-soldier of fortune, with a list of enemies as long as Bruno's arm. Any one of them would have had good reason to kill him - but which group managed it? And how did they find him?As more of their mystery man's previous life is revealed, Bruno realizes that he and Pamela's cookery student may not have been the only intended victims in the vicinity. Now he must conduct the biggest manhunt in St Denis history to find the killers before they strike again.

Quercus

How to Make Children Laugh

Michael Rosen
Authors:
Michael Rosen
Quercus

More Than a Feeling

Cate Woods
Authors:
Cate Woods

'Brilliantly funny. Best book I've read in a long time!' Amazon reviewer on Just Haven't Met You Yet! Life isn't turning out quite how Annie expected. In her twenties, she had a dream job, an amazing social life and bags of confidence. Now, she's living with her boyfriend Luke and is a stay-at-home mum to their baby daughter. The promising career has petered out, and along with it, her confidence and creativity.And then Luke does the unforgivable. Annie will need the help of her group of loyal friends more than ever. Is old Annie gone forever, or could this finally be the chance to find herself once more?What amazon reviewers are saying about Just Haven't Met You Yet:'Perfect page turner''Definitely the best book I've read in a while''It ticks all the right boxes - humour, romance and the most engaging page turner'

Quercus

You Do You

Sarah Knight
Authors:
Sarah Knight

*From the author who brought you the 'genius' bestsellers The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k and Get Your Sh*t Together* In The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k, our favourite 'anti-guru' Sarah Knight unleashed the power of saying no. In Get Your Sh*t Together, she prioritised the sh*t you need and want to do so you can achieve your hopes and dreams. Now she's back, doubling down on your happiness with her latest message: You Do You. Being yourself should be the easiest thing in the world. Yet instead of leaning in to who we are, we fight it, listening too closely to what society tells us. You Do You helps you shake off those expectations, say f**k perfect, start looking out for number one and keep on with your badass self. From career and finances to relationships and family, lifestyle and health, Sarah Knight rips up the rulebook. Writing about her mistakes and embarrassments in her own personal quest to 'do me' - because nobody gets everything right all day, every day - Sarah Knight shows why you can and should f**k up and teaches you to let yourself off the hook, bounce back and keep standing tall.What everyone is saying about Sarah Knight:'The anti-guru' Observer'I love Knight' Sunday Times 'Life-affirming' Lucy Mangan, Guardian 'Genius' Vogue (P)2017 Hachette Audio

Quercus

Does It Fart?

Dani Rabaiotti, Nick Caruso
Authors:
Dani Rabaiotti, Nick Caruso

The ultimate guide to animal flatulence: the perfect gift for anyone who has ever farted.Dogs do it. Millipedes do it. Dinosaurs did it. You do it: I do it. Octopuses don't (and nor do octopi). Spiders might do it: more research is needed. Birds don't do it, but they could if they wanted to. Herrings do it to communicate with each other. At the beginning of 2017, an innocent question on twitter about snakes formed the hashtag #doesitfart and spread pungently across the internet - and major newspapers - as dozens of experts weighed in on which animals do and don't fart, and if they do, how much, how often, what it's made of, what it smells like, and what it's for. Does it Fart? is the result: the fully authoritative, fully illustrated guide to animal flatulence, covering the habits of 80 animals in more detail than you ever knew you needed. What foods make hyena farts smell especially bad? What is a fossa, and does it fart? Why do clams vomit but not fart? What is a fart, anyway? With contributions from dozens of biologists, Does it Fart? is a book that will allow you to shift the blame onto all kinds of unlikely animals for years to come.

Quercus

Five at the Office Christmas Party

Bruno Vincent
Authors:
Bruno Vincent
Quercus

Five Get On the Property Ladder

Bruno Vincent
Authors:
Bruno Vincent

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy turn their attention to finding a property they can call their very own.Join the Five as they struggle to get their feet (and paws) on the first rung of the property ladder. Luckily cousin Rupert is on hand to help. But not before they've had some very exciting adventures. Who knew that it was all going to be so difficult?

Quercus

Five Go Bump in the Night

Bruno Vincent
Authors:
Bruno Vincent

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy go camping in the deep dark woods. Sleep does not come easily, so they have the brilliant idea of telling each other spooky stories.Join the Five as they scare themselves witless recounting tales that would terrify the bravest of souls. From encounters with American werewolves and being lost in space, to ghostly graveyard apparitions, it is hardly surprising that there is a sleepless night ahead of the intrepid crew. Even grumpy old Uncle Quentin and kind Aunt Fanny cannot be relied upon to be entirely themselves . . .

Quercus

Five Escape Brexit Island

Bruno Vincent
Authors:
Bruno Vincent
Quercus

Catfulness

A Cat
Authors:
A Cat
Quercus

Sketchy Muma

Anna Lewis
Authors:
Anna Lewis

'Anna's sketches never fail to put a smile on my face and make my heart a little warmer.' GIOVANNA FLETCHERThis gorgeous little book charts the various bewildering stages of becoming a mother, from those tell-tale blue lines in the pregnancy test, to labour, birth, coming home and venturing out. Breastfeeding nightmares, eating dinner with one hand, soft play hell and chronic sleep deprivation - but also the sheer beauty of falling in love again and the amazing discovery of what it's like to have a family - these are all captured in Sketchy Muma's glorious drawings.This is the perfect gift book for both young and experienced parents. Anna Lewis understands the light and shade that comes with motherhood, and it is those universal truths that will connect all those parents who delight in her sketches.

Quercus

Five Escape Brexit Island

Bruno Vincent
Authors:
Bruno Vincent

It's a year after the Brexit vote. The four housemates and Timmy are on a visit to see their evil genius cousin Rupert. Rupert owns a chunk of the Jurassic Coast, part of which he has turned into an island and declared independence from Britain. Its fifteenth-century Dorset castle is a tourist attraction, but a computer hack puts the ancient fortifications into lockdown and plunges the Five into peril. Can our intrepid friends escape to the safety of mainland Europe?

Quercus

Cosmos

Giles Sparrow
Authors:
Giles Sparrow

The biggest and best ever reproduction of the Space Age's most remarkable imagesThe magnificent vault of stars emblazoning Earth's night skies are but an infinitesimal fraction of the hundreds of billions that inhabit our galaxy - and there are at least as many galaxies in the universe as there are stars in the Milky Way. Cosmos makes sense of this dizzying celestial panorama by exploring it one step at a time, illustrating the planets, moons, stars, nebulae, white dwarfs, black holes and other exotica that populate the heavens with some of science's most spectacular photographs. The book opens with an orbital survey of planet Earth, before venturing into the solar system heading for interstellar space and the heart of our galaxy. As the journey unfolds, the rhythms of stellar life emerge: we pass through dark clouds of dust and gas ablaze with newly smelted stars and we witness dying stars bloom and fade as planetary nebulae, or tear themselves apart as supernovae. Having crossed the Milky Way, we enter intergalactic space. Out here we watch the hidden lives of galaxies: we see them flock and cluster, forming massive conglomerations that span millions of light years, visibly warping space with their tremendous gravity. After covering an almost unimaginable 13.4 billion light years, we approach the edge of space and the dawn of time where our voyage must end, but not before we consider how the universe was born, and how it might die.A landmark in popular science publishing, Cosmos is a majestic, giant format, account of the ultimate journey - a 13.7-billion-light-year- (or 130-billion-trillion kilometre-) voyage from our home planet to the edge of the universe and the beginning of time. Illustrated with 450 images of staggering beauty.

riverrun

Spoonbenders

Daryl Gregory
Authors:
Daryl Gregory
Quercus

The Templars' Last Secret

Martin Walker
Authors:
Martin Walker

'The Maigret of the Dordogne' ANTONY BEEVOR'Walker does a wonderful job of bringing La France Profonde to life' MAIL ON SUNDAYIn this latest mouthwatering mystery starring country policeman, Bruno, the body of a woman is found outside a cave beneath the ruined Templar chateau of Commarque in the heart of the Dordogne. She died of a broken neck. An accidental fall, or was she pushed?The victim carries no identification and her fingerprints are not known to the French Police or Interpol.The only clue to the woman's identity is that her dentistry looks American, but Bruno's inquiries at local hotels and gites yield no trace of a missing foreign woman. The chateau of Commarque, begun in the 11th century, was founded by a Bishop of Sarlat and entrusted to the Knights Templar. In the rocks beneath it are caves. It is one of the few Templar sites in France that has never been associated with the fabled hidden treasure of the Templars - never until now, when a local journalist publishes a sensational story around the unknown woman's death and a centuries-old mystery looks like it might finally be solved...

Quercus

Five Get Beach Body Ready

Bruno Vincent
Authors:
Bruno Vincent

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to hone their physiques ready for the summer holidays. All it will take is a bit of effort and willpower . . . and pulling together as a team. What could possibly stand in their way?True to form, the path to the body beautiful is less straightforward than they hope!(P)2017 Quercus Editions Limited

Quercus

Five Lose Dad in the Garden Centre

Bruno Vincent
Authors:
Bruno Vincent
Quercus

Five Give Up the Booze

Bruno Vincent
Authors:
Bruno Vincent

Enid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: give up the booze.Give up alcohol you say? Why, of course they can! Talk about an easy challenge! Five old friends set about this simple task and find all of a sudden that: the days are longer; they get to see each other for who they really are; the empty laughter of ordinary conversation is so much harder to fake. Yes, they're saving money and losing weight, but the world itself seems to take on a slow, dreary inevitability. Soon they begin to snap at each other, and then fight - until they begin to wonder, have the Five at last found the challenge that will defeat them?The perfect gift for anyone who has woken up and promised themselves that they will never drink again. Or at least until next weekend.

Quercus

The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F**k

Sarah Knight
Authors:
Sarah Knight